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JELyon's Rules of the Road

by on June 11, 2009
 
  1. Dude. Don’t bother to signal. Nobody’s paying attention, and they don’t care where you’re going anyway.
  2. Yield? Your vehicle will totally fit in that space.
  3. Under no circumstances should you let other cars merge. Anyplace you are is way more important than where they need to go.
  4. Following distance is for chumps. Tailgating saves gas and makes more space on the road.
  5. Red lights are only a suggestion that you stop – not an iron clad rule. Besides, anyplace you are going is way more important than anyplace those other cars are going.
  6. Sometimes you’re tired. You’re weak. You don’t want to fight your way into that line of traffic to merge onto the extra ramp. Stay strong. It’s your duty to pass everyone who’s been waiting and force your vehicle in at the front of the line. There’s always someone weaker than you up at the front.
  7. Any lane is a passing lane. Pass on the left. Pass on the right. Pass like you mean it.
  8. Roll down the windows. Turn on the AC. And turn up the tunes. Everyone loves your music.
  9. The passing lane is your birthright. Intimidate the other cars until they get out of your way.
  10. It’s a race. You’re a superstar. Drive like it.
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